A Growing Heart

You hear a lot of moms who are about to have their 2nd child question whether or not they can love this new baby like they love their first baby. The baby who made them a mom and if you are like me totally shifted your Earth on its axis.


I get it, I totally understand it. For me though I am not worried. My heart already loves 4 children. F.O.U.R? Yes 4. Lydia my first born wild and crazy sweetheart of a toddler, our little one waiting for us in heaven (I know I did not get to meet you or hold you but I heard your heart beat you were a real life to me, a life I still mourn and miss but know you are loved sweet angel until I get to hold you and tell you myself), the little one that is growing, bumping and kicking me from inside and the child I know is waiting for us through adoption another child I have not met through an ultrasound screen or a photo yet but that God has prepared a place for in my heart.

Is it weird to love all of these children and all of these little lives at one time. To some maybe it is but to me it feels natural as breathing. I remember tears spilling over at the gym when I was working out every night preparing to try and get pregnant again. How could I be mourning and missing 2 children, knowing we wanted another biologically before we adopted and knowing that I had lost one already what if it happened again or praying that I would start my period so we can start trying for another right away. God was growing and stretching my heart then. Watching Lydia ask people to sit their baby carriers with sleeping babies inside right next to her so she could watch them, God was stretching and growing my heart then too.

I believe our hearts are capable of holding a lot more love then we give it credit for. I cannot wait to see just how big this heart can get. God knows its capacity and I pray he fills to the brim!!

First Family Vacation

We spent the last week in a cute Pink beach house at Lake Michigan. This was Lydia's first family vacation and it was such a great time. I was worried about sleeping because she is still in a crib at home and is really too big for a full night's sleep in a pack n play so she ended up sleeping with me of course :)

She loved the beach, the sand and the water. Of course, it helped it wasn't sea water, we hope this was a good introduction before the actual ocean.

Thankful for great parents who took us with them and let me put my feet up, relax and read as much as possible.

Highlights:
- New Buffalo
- The Stray Dog Restaurant
- Watching the sunset
- Getting my mom and brother to play games
- Watching Lady and the Tramp as a whole family
- Cooking out
- Watching Lydia knock over castles
- Lydia's phrase of the week: "No Talking"
- Lazy mornings and evenings
- Bed by 9:30 p.m.

30 Weeks....9 to go

30 weeks a long and feeling good. I still love being pregnant, although I'm getting slower, I have the pregnant waddle down by the end of a long day and my hips sometimes make it hard for me to get up off the floor once I'm there I am not complaining because I love this feeling of growing our little peanut right now. 

I love drumsticks (the ice cream kind), bagels and cream cheese, mexican, vanilla/cherry cokes, cheese fries, and fruit! 

I officially have a preggo bladder with the baby kicking me at random times making me feel like I'm going to pee my pants. 

9 weeks to go and this sweet little one will be in our arms, Lydia will be a big sister and we will become a family of 7 (if you count the furry ones)