Why?

In the midst of the chaos that is adoption paperwork, life goes on. We both still have jobs, we both still have commitments, we have two kiddos one in school two days a week and the other into and climbing everything. There are moments I feel totally inadequate, there is no way in this world that I can parent my two children let alone one through adoption, there is no way in this world that I can complete the mountains of paperwork, most of it being at the mercy of others and hoping they get it right the first time.

I ask myself a lot Why? why did God put this on my heart? Wasn't my life fine the way it was, why can't I be comfortable with the life that we were living, maybe just have another baby biologically? why complicate things? why add a child who has so much trauma and brokenness in their life into our home with  two children who have been raised in a loving home and won't be able to fathom or comprehend the type of life their brother or sister had leading up to becoming a part of this family.

My heart is broken and I have frustrations and I get angry at a world where this is even a "thing" adoption is even a thing because this world is broken but Jesus saved us and he adopted us into his family and for that reason I say YES. How can we not do this. I want a big family, I want children running through our house and causing messes and driving me totally bananas. I want that family so I say YES, because a child deserves a family who wants them and loves them and will care for their every need.

I want to live the gospel with my life and I want people to see Jesus in us, imperfect people and I want my kids to know what it means to live outside of ourselves and to live for the kingdom, to not put our stock in things of this world...to be the body of Christ, to literally be his hands and feet. To not talk a big game but to walk it and be humbled by the mountains of paperwork and the training and the money and the tears and brokenness. To love others in spite of their circumstances, story or previous life, to love them so much it hurts. To let it all break us so that he can build us up again making us stronger.

"...that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work" 2 Timothy 3:17

Thank you Jesus for that because I feel totally unequipped 99% of the time.

Life with my little people

So life with my little ones has been pretty entertaining lately. It has been exhausting and trying too, it's funny how it all seems to ebb and flow on the daily. I don't want to forget a thing so this is my attempt to update you who are still around on the totally cute kids that I am lucky enough to call mine.

Lydia 

She had her first father daughter dance earlier this month and she had so much fun dressing up with her dad and eating candy, dancing in the dark with flashlights and those neon necklaces and bracelets. She had me put a braid in her hair and she was soooo wired when she came home to tell me all about it. Her favorite movies right now are Frozen (of course), Lion King and 101 Dalmations. She knows every word to ever song from Frozen, the other night I think her nap was too long during the day so I fell asleep at 10 p.m. to her singing "For the first time in forever...." from her bedroom. She got mad at me and Matt about something turned around dramatically and declared "Close the Gates!" 

She is feisty and sassy and can turn on the attitude like the flip of a switch but the other day after her 4 year doctor appointment (yes 4 years, how is this possible) I took her and Garrett to chick-fil-a, of course, and she was playing on the playset while I sat and observed, she took the time to go up to the boy that was in the tree for the 3 and unders, introduced her brother and asked if he could share with him. My heart almost exploded all over that playset. I also heard her introduce herself to a little girl, asked her what her name was and then asked if she was going to go down the slide or if she could go ahead. At times I doubt my parenting and other times I give myself a mental chest bump and declare VICTORY!

She asks for a piggy back ride every night, has memorized her favorite "Dig Dogs Dig" book and recites it to me, she has to have lotion on her feet with socks, her fan on, and she has to have me go through a list of sweet dreams for her before I can leave for the night.

She weighs 42.6 lbs and is 3ft. 5 inches tall....come on scholarships!! :) 

Garrett

He is pretty much the cutest thing ever with his curly hair, blue eyes and dimples. It's a good thing too because that boy challenges me like nothing else in my life. He still wakes sometimes in the middle of the night, he still doesn't talk too well so he gets frustrated a lot. He loves his big sissy though and she helps him accomplish things without mommy's help. He is pretty happy when there is food around and I am pretty sure we need to put a lock on our pantry or he will start climbing the shelves to get to his snacks.

Tonight he said "ball" in the bath tub and that was fun! I also asked if he wanted to read books and he pointed and said "elmo". There is now a distinct sound difference between mama (me) and mamaw (grandma) and he even says papaw (grandpa) he says "hey" and "bye" and "nigh nigh" (night night) he barks when he sees the Butler Bulldog on Matt's sweatshirts and roars like a Lion during Lion King. He adores our dog and lights up when they are around, he scoots real close to them so he can lay his head on their fur and they can lick his fingers. I know gross right...get over it, I did. His run is probably the cutest because he bounces and you can see his curls over the couch when he does :) When it comes to falling or bouncing off things he's pretty tough and gets right back up, his head is still large and we are getting used to the bumps and bruises that comes with a 19 month old.

cell phone selfie

Sole Hope: Shoe Cutting Party

If you have not heard of the organization Sole Hope, I recommend you go check them out right quick then come back here.... they are doing great things and making such an impact on the lives of those living with "jiggers" and foot related illness/disease in Uganda. 

What drew me to this organization is the fact that WE CAN DO SOMETHING from our living rooms. We don't have to travel (although I want to sooo badly), we don't just have to send a check (although they can use that too) but we can actually do something with our own two hands!!  

So last week I hosted a shoe cutting party. I had 11 ladies here from family, to coworkers to close friends all scattered throughout my house tracing, cutting, chatting, drinking and eating. We opened up the evening by watching a short video clip that shines a light on what Sole Hope does. It's not pretty, it's painful, it's real and dirty but these kids they rely on the help of Sole Hope to become educated and healed. 

How can you host a party? It's easy...go to Sole Hope Party and purchase a shoe cutting kit, it will come with all instructions needed to get started. Then you can purchase the supplies or have your guests bring them, I did a little bit of both. You send out invites via email or social media. I love playing hostess so I had some beverages and snacks but you don't necessarily have to do that. Set up a place to start the evening with a computer or tv where you can watch the video then let people scatter! 

It's fun to watch others eyes be open to what is going on around the world, it's fun to watch them get excited and want to help too, it's fun to watch people become inspired by doing something! By sharing what you know and what you are passionate about it's amazing what can come from it. I am actually extending this party into a MOPS group next week with one of the ladies who came to my party. She invited me to share the video and talk about what Sole Hope does and to help lead them in shoe cutting for Sole Hope. That pumps me up!! 

I can't wait to one day go on a trip to actually watch this all go down, it's on my bucket list but for the time being lets keep partying for Good :)