Forgiveness and Letting Go

To go along with my post on love last weekend I thought I should follow it up with one of the largest obstacles for me lately and over the last few years. The true reason I am focusing on choosing love every day. Something I want to be better at this year and  throughout the rest of my years because Lord knows it will probably take me that long to ever get it right, if I ever get it right here on this earth.

Forgiving and letting go. I have been hurt we have all been hurt, it is no fun. When someone doesn't trust you enough to tell you the truth, they lie to your face, they hurt your feelings, they hurt your family or those close to you. It all meshes into a tangle of anger, hurt and grudges. I am the worst when it comes to holding grudges. I want more than anything to be able to let these go. I want the freedom of no longer holding onto the hurt of no longer hashing out events of the past in my head over and over again until I'm angry and hurt all over again.

I know it is not Christian to hold onto grudges, God doesn't hold onto grudges so why should we? Because we are human and make mistakes daily.

I wasn't always this way, I used to give people multiple chances, let people walk all over me and in the end it hurt too much so instead I reverted to the complete opposite, I hold onto this hurt too long and let it sit until all that is left is the ruins of a relationship.

This is an area in my life that I am constantly working on, praying about, and failing at quite honestly. Only God can change my heart and I know he is capable of such large tasks. It's not something I can do alone and it's something that might take me until I die to finally figure out.

Then Peter came to him and asked, "Lord how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?"

"No, not seven times," Jesus replied, "but seventy times seven!"

Matthew 18: 21-22

Jenn and Chris: Pure & Lasting

I started following Jenn's blog Pure & Lasting when adoption was first put on my heart and I started approaching couples with questions and guidance as to where to start in this crazy world of adoption. It is so great to see how Jenn and Chris have allowed God to really direct their path to the children that he has planned for them.

They recently welcomed home Alain a teenager from Rwanda after they met him on a mission trip last year. His smile is infectious and their story is too. They were featured on a local news station in their hometown. You can watch it here !!

I am so proud of the Verme's and their story isn't even nearly over.

L.O.V.E

Love is a strange thing, it is powerful and with it everything feels possible.

Love can heal a hurt soul, the kind of hurt that is not seen from the outside but can only be felt on the inside. When someone wraps you in love and you can feel it deep down where it hurts the most, Love heals.

Love can be hard, it can be messy, and it can take everything in you to let Love prevail and not let judgment, pointed fingers, grudges, and hurt take over until there is none left.

Love is the greatest gift we can give others, to love them like Jesus loved us, to Love them beyond our hurts and our own agendas.

To just simply let go and L.O.V.E

Isn't that what HE asked of us? To LOVE others?

Choose LOVE! I'm working hard on this today and always.

found here

InstaFriday

she loves the sunshine and an open window

Lydia getting a head start on some Spring cleaning with the nice weather

Mamma's breakfast in bed

Mid clap at Butler Senior night, she had such a great time


Happy Friday everyone

Pregnancy Hormones, They Are Raging

Let's talk about pregnancy hormones here for a minute. I am a crazy mess a lot of the time right now. I have no idea how it is even possible to go from a raging ball of stress to a blubbering baby in the matter of 2 seconds flat. But it is possible and I am mastering it.

I got tears in my eyes while watching How I Met Your Mother, really? Seriously? Have you guys watched that show? Not an emotional show but somehow I managed to cry in it this week. I also got tears in my eyes at Senior Night for a college team, for boys I have never met in my life. I also cry at adoption gotcha day videos, which is pretty normal but doubly worse right now, we are talking ugly cry people. (Insert blubbering emotional pregnancy hormone here)

I also come home from work a stressed out mess, I look at my house and feel like the walls are closing in, that every inch of it is covered in hair that I will never ever get rid of, there are muddy paw prints on the wood  floors, there is a mound of mail and junk thrown on our kitchen table, and Lydia has usually gotten into a cabinet or two while Matt is cooking dinner and I walk into it strewn across our already too small kitchen. (Insert CRAZY pregnancy hormone here)

There are moments that Lydia is an absolute angel and so much fun I cannot wait to have another just like her BUT then there are moments that the terrible two's sneak up on us and she is a defiant little independent person who is going to push every button mommy has. Those moments I feel like I'm going to drown as a mom of an infant and a toddler. (Insert panic stricken mommy hormone here)

Also, Matt told me the other night that my IQ has significantly dropped this pregnancy and I believe it! There are times I start talking and end up somewhere totally different then where the conversation originally began and have no idea how I got there. OR I start talking and just stop because I forget what I was saying. I sometimes just feel plain stupid like my brain is not working at all. (Pregnancy has taken my brain hostage)

We won't even talk about the crazy dreams…

Pregnancy hormones you are something else, something that is totally normal and anticipated for pregnant women but for some reason you are ruthless this time around.

15 Weeks

Well here it is, the first bump picture and update of this pregnancy. I swear when you are pregnant with the 2nd 5 minutes after you pee on the stick your clothes no longer fit, you definitely "pop" way sooner, for me I have been in maternity pants since 9 weeks. I decided I wasn't going to be uncomfortable especially chasing a toddler around. No shame...bring on the elastic waistband!

This pregnancy made me more nauseous in my first trimester then I was with Lydia and I definitely still had exhaustion and was in bed by 8 p.m. most nights. Just thankful I wasn't the hugging toilets kind of sick.

I get these mad cravings for cheeseburgers and love a good bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch before bed and not mention the 10 for 10 deal on the big boxes of Gobstoppers at Kroger have been key.

I'm thankful to be here and to be experiencing this miracle all over again, not to mention it's a BABY BOOM and I'm getting to share it with so many other great women this time around.

I Heart Baby Flutters :)

Lately

We've been wearing pig tails and watching lots of "cake" Strawberry Shortcake that is.

We've been wearing over-sized snoopy hats and eating chocolate covered cookies.

We've been coloring Valentines Day cards for Mamaw and Papaw.

We've lounged in our jammies and laundry basket while watching cartoons before bed. 

A Little Did you Know Action

DID YOU KNOW??

I have some new readers since I started this lovely blog back before I announced we were pregnant with Lydia. So I figured I would do a little did you know post so you all can get to know me a little better.

1. I have 3 tattoos and the itch for more!! (I always said if my career weren't a factor I would have a ½ sleeve because I LOOOOVE them) I have a butterfly with my cousin's initials on the inside of my left ankle; my sister and I got them together when I was a Junior in college. I have the word faith on the inside of my wrist a reminder to have faith in God, a faith in myself and my abilities, and in his timing for all things in my life. I also have a really cool image of a mother/child united into a heart on the back of my right rib cage (that hurt) but I love it and plan to add to it to represent all of my children someday.

2. My husband was the first boy I ever called boyfriend.

3. I rode horses for about 2 years after I graduated, had my own job and didn't have a child. I actually stopped once I found out I was pregnant with Lydia. I use to lease a horse named Lady and I loved her so, such a gentle/stubborn/beautiful animal. Our BIG dream as a family definitely includes land and a couple horses.

4. I bleed black and gold as in Purdue Boilermaker colors. I have been to the Alamo Bowl, the Outback Bowl, the Capitol One Bowl, the Sun Bowl and the Rose Bowl all with my huge family in tow (roughly 26 of us each trip). The best family vacation ever was  Pasadena for the Rose Bowl, when Drew Brees played for us. At one time we had 7 or 8 cousins at Purdue at the same time. We've had 6 graduate so far and 3 graduating this year.

5. I have 2 siblings, both younger, Laura and Matt. I love them, period! My life is better because of them.

6. My husband and I have 3 dogs: Ellie was mine in college, Layla was rescued as a puppy when I moved into our house, and we rescued Bentley 3 years ago. We also fostered dogs for a little while: we were able to foster 4 pups before they found their forever homes.

7. I love Jimmy Johns (Club Lulu to be exact) and McDonalds Diet Coke... both things I cannot have right now but that will be my first meal in the hospital after I can eat solids.

8. I have watched One Tree Hill since the very first episode in my dorm room at college, it's a dramatic teenage soapy CW flick but I love it and have not missed an episode. This is the last season and that makes me feel old.

I really don't have anything else at this time but always feel free to get in touch with me with questions if you have them. I totally don't mean to ever leave my blog unattended for over a week again because I do miss it when I'm not interacting with you all.

InstaFriday: Super Bowl Edition

As most of you know, unless you live under a rock, the Super Bowl is this weekend and my city, Indianapolis, is playing host and I must say our city has stepped up big time. At first I was scrooge like because I work downtown and it was going to be and is a strain on my commute but totally worth it once you step on Georgia street and see what has been done. It is amazing what has been accomplished and how it has transformed into this week long party for locals and visitors. I am proud to be born and raised here. GREAT JOB INDY!!

at the ESPN set



Indy, known for Indy Car racing decorated a car for each NFL team and lined them up on Merdian Street, it was awesome! Wish Drew Brees was paying visit to Indy as part of the big game but I'm always a proud Boiler at heart.



playing on the turf under neath the zipline



Indy looking good for the big game.

Update on the Big Sister Herself

I realized I haven't posted an update about Lydia lately so here we go. All about the Big Sister to be and her shananigans these days. (that's really the best word to describe it) There is a reward for you readers at the buttom of this post :)


How she really took the news of a new baby :) JK she was done crying in a sec. once something else took up her attention


Sleep: AMAZING, you still sleep 12-13 hours a night with one good nap anywhere from 1 1/2 - 3 hours long

Eating: Not so amazing, you are a picky picky eater my dear (just like your daddy) your plate normally looks beige with everything the same color. You like: bannanas, yogurt, apple sauce, mac & cheese, nuggies (chicken nuggets), cookies, crackers (any kind), peanut butter, waffles, pancakes, bacon, grilled cheese, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, meatloaf (really). You would drink milky's all the time if you could but also love capri suns, and "ade" lemonade. We try and keep the juices to a minum every day and you still drink water especially now that water is all mommy drinks you think it's cool to "cheers" our waters together.

Talking: HOLY MOLY girlfriend sometimes you won't shut up and I LOVE IT. I love hearing you talk to your puppy in the backseat or trying to sing along to the song on the radio, you repeat yourself A LOT like we didn't hear you the first time and that's ok, at least you are telling us what you want. You are putting more and more words together to form phrases for us, "I cute, Mommy cute" "Coat on" "Mamaw house, papaw house" "Mommy no sing, Mommy no dance" (I'm already embarassing you I guess) although when it's time to dance you tell everyone to "shake", you even reminded us to say our prayers at the dinner table last night (smart and observant kid you are, we were eating and you said "amen" like you knew we forgot)

Shows: You wake up every weekend morning asking for "cake" aka Strawberry shortcake, you also like: Dora, Diego, Wonder Pets, Fresh Beat Band and Dino Dan. We also watch Tangled on a pretty regular basis, when you say movie we put in Tangled.

Toys/Books: You love your big book of Animals these days as you try and tell us what everything is, everything is either a dog, horse, or cat. You like your Mr. Potatoe Head and your dinosaurs. You also like building towers with daddy when you aren't asking him to play "horse" or covering us with stickers.

We sometimes forget you are only 21 months old because you seem so smart and ready to play with the big kids. We love you sweet girl and I love watching you learn, laugh, and grow every day. You are going to be such a good Big Sister!

For 20% off at Little Blue Feather shop compliments of the amazingly talented Michelle who made Lydia's sweet Big Sister shirt use coupon code: BIGSIS