A Couple Changes

So if you don't visit here regulary, which is probably very likely, you won't notice these small changes but I do notice them and I'm hoping they will bring back some of the joy and fulfillment I felt from blogging in the first place.

First of all, I took away the followers feature on my sidebar, I got so caught up in watching my numbers drop or go back up that it became more of a popularity game for me. That for a mom and a woman period is a dangerous dangerous game to play. As my posts became more irregular and my comments stopped coming in and my followers stopped going up my self esteem as a woman, a blogger, a mom and an advocate for the fatherless started going down. Not a good rut to get in not a good feeling to have especially if it seeps into other aspects of your life.
I love blogging, I was never wonderful at keeping a journal, I think it's because my handwriting would start becoming chicken scratch and my hand would begin to cramp. I can type much faster than I can write and I can add pictures without having to print them and tape them into a journal.  I also love the platform it can give me for what my heart feels most passionate about: being a mom and advocating for orphans and adoption.

Which brings me to my second change: the sidebar button that I will begin to change up on a more regular basis to feature a blog or organization that is doing big things to love the fatherless. I just switched it up to feature a fantastic blog Give 1 Save 1 that features a new adopting family every week with a video and fundraising opportunity for that family...they are Awesome go check it out!



Thanks for sticking around if you are still here.

Tough

So my intial word for 2013 was Adventure/Change (that's two words yes I know but I couldn't pick one) but right now my word for 2013 is TOUGH.

This has not been the most ideal start to a year.

• Sickness overload (started for Matt and I right before Christmas Eve, then the kiddos got it) I drove poor Garrett around one night at 1 a.m. so he would fall back asleep sitting up in his car seat, that was the only way he wouldn't hack and sleep for 4 hours straight.
• We had to put our sweet Golden down
• I have to keep reminding my 2 1/2 year old that said Golden is not coming home we cannot go pick him up at heaven :(
• I had a massive project for work that had me just a little stretched and stressed

It really has to go better from here on out right? I am choosing to believe and hope that it will. 2013 we are still ready for all the excitement that you will bring. I am starting to cross things off my mission trip to do list although it's not until Nov. and we are saving for a down payment on our next home since we will most likely get a tad if not a lot screwed when we sell our home (if you bought in 2007, when you really probably shouldn't have qualified for a loan and try and sell now it = no good for us the seller) BUT we have a great realtor that is a father to a fantastic family and we will make it work I'm pretty optomsitic about it.

I am dreaming and scheming and loving my kiddos, my book club, my best friend from high school being home so we can drink wine and watch Pretty Little Liars together every week, I love my husband and his lofty goals for 2013 and his love for me and our family. It's going to be good it's going to be fun and it's going to be intersting.

How has your first month gone? Better than planned, less than stellar, whatever it may be it's a relief to know it's only the beginning.

5 Months...say it ain't so

Garrett,

How does this happen, how is it that the 2nd child seems to grow at the speed of light?? You are 5 months old and just as cute as ever. You get even more irresistable every day if that is even possible, it's that smile, you smile so easily and can brighten anyone's day with just one flash of dimple!

You have 2 teeth on the bottom, on the occasion that you scream it's actually kind of cute to see them poking out of your gummy smile. You like to grind your gums now because you can feel them and the drool oh my the drool is a little out of control at times.

You have your whiney days but those are the days that I make dinner with you strapped in the Moby and it works like a charm. You just need your mamma and to be honest I need it to. Being a working mom is hard and knowing that I'm still the one you need sometimes helps me feel like I'm still doing ok at this whole motherhood thing.

Your sister makes you laugh like nobody else can, we can tickle you and make our voice as high as we can get it but your big sis pops in your line of vision and you are a laughing fool, it makes me so happy to see the light in your eyes when you see her.

You are eating baby food now, we've tried green beans, peas, peaches, carrots and pears. You like the carrots and the pears the best so far and all the others it sometimes looks like the excorsist hit our kitchen. That's ok I won't give up on making you try the green stuff!

You still haven't figured out how to roll from your back to your belly, I'm pretty sure it's your massive noggin because from your belly to your back you can use it for momentum and the other way around it sort of acts as an anchor. You can get to your side and daddy has found you sleeping like that a couple times now. You have found you can scootch yourself around though like an inch worm using your poor face to help.

You are almost in all 6-9 month clothes now, we have kept some of your 3-6 month pants on you because although you are large you legs seem kind of short.

We had to get an ultrasound of your head this month, the doctor was worried because it's off the charts from the rest of your body but all was well. You were such a trooper with the tech and even tried to grab the wand from her a couple times. It was actually kind of cool to see what your brain looks like, I think you are going to be really smart!!

I love you sweet boy with all my heart!

Love you to the moon and back,
Mommy

2012: Trust & Contentment 2013: Change & Adventure

In 2012, I decided while growing a sweet little one in my belly and then raising a new baby with a toddler that I just needed to TRUST God with his plans for our life, not plan out every single moment but live in the moment and go where he leads us. To be content in our home and with our life.

Here are some major moments from 2012: What a fun year!!

We finally got to announce that Lydia was going to be a BIG SISTER

Mommy took her first trip all by herself to visit with girlfriends in Florida

My sweet girl turned into a big 2 Year Old, we had a party with friends and family, hormonal pregnant mommy had quite the time adjusting

We took our first family vacation

It's a BOY... Garrett Matthew was born on 8/3/12

We had quite the time adjusting to life with two

Lydia became Potty Trained!!

We celebrated our first Christmas as a family of 4

For 2013 I have a way different outlook, I think this year will be one of Change and Adventure for me and my whole family. We are excited for what God has planned for us, some things to stretch us and test us.

Coming in 2013:

Signing with an Adoption Agency
Putting our house on the market
Going to Haiti with Visiting Orphans and my sister
Celebrating 5 years of marriage to my amazing husband

2013 Lets Do This!



Goodbye Sweet Bentley

I know I owe you a 5 month post of a really stinkin cute little man but today I decided to postpone that until later this weekend so that I could dedicate my piece of the net to the sweetest, most caring, loyal, furry, smelly, adorable, and saint of a dog Bentley.

We adopted Bentley when he was 4 or 5 from a Humane Society in the area; not even really in the area we drove over an hour into the sticks to a small Humane Society where we met the most insane, huge Golden Retriever I have ever laid eyes on. When I say insane I mean it, he was nutso jumping all over the place, we took our other two dogs to meet him and he proceeded to chase them around humping them like a horny teenage boy the whole entire time. He was fun and spunky and did I mention pretty massive (99lbs at his biggest)?? He was not neutured so I knew chances were he would calm down a little bit by the time we brought him home so we said YES to that crazy dog.

I picked him up on Good Friday of 2009 during my day off. He was a totally different dog, I think he truly wanted to test his new family to be sure that he would not be abandoned again, he wanted someone who wanted him even if he was crazy. He was not crazy, just super sweet, super quiet (we heard him bark 2 times the whole 4 years we had him) and ready for someone who wouldn't give up on him.

We then brought children into the picture, mommy (that would be me) got more frustrated with our dogs by the day, it comes with sleep depervation and trying to keep your house clean with a crawling baby, but when you watch your first child learn to stand and walk because of a smelly, hairy dog you love that dog unconditionally because the joy on your child's face is worth it. He was totally worth it. Lydia loved B and would hug him, sit on him, tell him to "take it easy" if he was gulping water too fast, making sure he didn't make himself sick.

I didn't tell you that I had to convince my husband that we NEEDED Bentley but I did and then Bentley became Matt's shadow, he practically sat on his feet all day long and followed him from room to room. He rode in Matt's truck on quick errands to keep him company. They were buds in every sense of the word.

After Garrett was born, Bentley started to have off days where he would seem depressed, he wouldn't eat and he would drink and pee a ton. He had some issues with seizures after Lydia was born but it was chalked up to stress and they stopped a couple months later. We waited it out a bit but soon his bad days came more often then good days and in the last couple of weeks his belly was so bloated and his muscles were getting weaker. We knew it was time to take him in and see what was up. We didn't get good news.

Our happy dog wasn't happy anymore so we made the hard decision of giving him one last night in the house, Matt gave him cheeseburgers for lunch and I met him at the vet after work. It was one of the hardest things we have ever done as a couple to walk him in there knowing we would not be bringing him home again. I held his head in my hands and kissed his nose while they put him down to go to doggy heaven, he finally relaxed for the first time in a while and I knew we made the right decision that it was time for him to go.

I am so glad that we were the family that got to take him home for the last half of his life, I'm sad we didn't get more years with him, that Garrett won't get to pull himself up on the goldy locks of his or get to lay on him while watching a movie but he taught us a lot about letting people into your life even though others have let you down. That you can love unconditionally after heart ache and he loved us something fierce.

Christmas 2012

I love Christmas time, I love family upon family upon family moments together. I love twinkling lights, my Christmas tree, and a fire in the fireplace. I will say this year was a little tough because we were all fighting colds and therefore fighting to keep my mind focused on the joy and all the good around me. We are so lucky that our families live within 20 min of us and within 10 min of each other but I also have this dream that next year we will have a home where we can entertain and we won't have to leave and pack up our kids at all :) A girl can hope... but for now here is our time in pictures.

playing in her new tent

our handsome boy sitting up in his new chair

she likes to sing him songs

she loves her new scooter

my heart

he melts me

We hope you had a very Merry Christmas!

4 Months

Garrett,

You are 4 months and entering some of my favorite baby stages. You are talking and making noise all the time, you even laughed once after hitting yourself in the head with a toy, apparantly it didn't hurt. I can't wait for more of those sweet giggles.

You love your giraffe snuggly and we named him Joe. You also love your scrunchy Elephant with teether feet, we don't have a name for him yet. You roll over easily from front to back and from back to your side, you will be rolling all the way over oh so soon. You have tried out your Einstein jumper for about 10-15 minutes at a time and it's fun to watch you play and get excited.

You have tried rice cereal now and get it once a day, you are doing really well with it and I'm oh so proud of you. You still aren't sleeping through the night but you've skipped your 12-2 a.m. wake up and now wake up somewhere around 4 a.m.

You are wearing some 6-9 month clothes now and are out of your one piece 3-6 month clothes. I can't believe we are already getting there. You are growing and developing every single day and it takes my breath away. I never want to wish time away but the more you notice your sister the more I'm excited for you to get to know her and become playmates.

6 lbs. 6 oz

25 inches long

We are about to celebrate your first Christmas and so far the Christmas lights make you so happy, you love to watch them. We can't wait to celebrate with you here in our arms especially since I announced to our family that we were pregnant with you last Christmas. What a blessing you are to us!!

I love you sweet boy and your heart melting smile!

Love,
Mommy