Snow Fall

Today was our first snowfall...it still makes me giddy. I love that Matt sets his alarm early so he can start shoveling and have the driveway cleared for us to head to work. I even love that I get to be out in the snow at my new job. I love that Lydia was bouncing off the walls so ready to go play as soon as I walked in the door.

We bundled up while Garrett was sleeping and headed outside for just a little bit. She made snow angels, I pulled and pushed her down our fantastic snow sledding hill enough times to wear her out and burn a few calories for me. We let Layla out to run and play in it with us and she chased us down the hill on our bright purple sled.

We came in and made hot chocolate, her first hot chocolate, she counted the marshmallows even asking me to help her with math as she added a few more to her cup.

Something about this morning made this holiday season seem real. It's been weird being in a new house for Christmas, my decorations don't feel the same and we can't put lights on our roof because Matt would never survive it. It's been different and weird but today it felt real. I slowed down to play with my kid and watch the snow fall out our window with my little guy from his favorite seat in the house.

I want to focus on all that has been good in our lives this year and this house is one of those things, different isn't bad it's no cause for a funk but I let it put me there a little bit, different means change and change is good and we are all family under this roof and that's all that matters.

A little Garrett Update::15 months

Our little guy is 15 months!! (He will be 16 months on December 3rd) time just flies with two babies, I've said it before, time is not as lazy and forgiving as it was with only one but you tend to cherish the short moments that you have in the quiet with your 2nd one just a little more because you don't know when that next moment will come.

We are getting to a point where we can just sit and observe the two of our kiddos play and explore with each other, we can watch their relationship from the outside and it is so fun to watch this special bond between them grow. Yes we are getting into the grunts and cries from Garrett when sister does something he doesn't like and we are hearing the yells of "Mom Garrett did this or that" but man it's fun and at times pretty entertaining to watch as a parent.

Our man is now a full blown walker/runner/toddler. He loves just walking and seeing how fast he can go before he falls down. We have these mini window seats in some of our windows and he loves to climb up on them and look out the window. He also loves to play on the ottoman, climbing is fun apparently and a tad scary for mommy.

He is still a great eater, the only things he hasn't liked are tomatoes, eggs, ground beef or hamburger and cheerios. Everything else is pretty much a go.

He is not talking he has a couple sporadic words like Layla, mama and something that sounds like Hello. Our doctor and us really are not worried about it yet because he thinks he is having a conversation with you and he will answer you back in what he probably thinks it's a perfectly acceptable answer he just hasn't formed the words yet. We are working on it and just like with everything else when it comes to him, it will be in his time and we will look back saying "be careful what you wish for".

Sleeping is better but we still get the occasional 2-3 days in a row where he will wake up at about 4/4:30 and we have to find his paci and help him back to sleep. He will also sleep at my parents house now which means they can spend the night there again. Not nearly as much as when Lydia was little but we've had a couple successful sleepovers.

His curls are still intact, he had his first hair cut at the end of October and we were sure not to touch the curls!

15 month stats:
32 1/2 inches - 90th percentile (he hit a growth spurt)
24.8 lbs. - 50th percentile

We are just loving this little man more and more everyday, he has a smile that will melt the hardest of hearts and a blossoming personality to match.

Church

We were in Haiti on a Sunday so we had the privilege of attending church while we there. This church like most Haitian buildings/homes had no windows, the windows are cut out with decorative iron bars over them but no glass. So as I sit in the back of this church I am aware of how I am the most comfortable temperature wise I have been the entire trip as the breeze blows off the ocean and into the church where I sit on the end of the pew making googly eyes at the adorable toddler in front me. I was so calm and relaxed, just at peace during this service.

We were told it would be about 2 hours long and that it would be done in Creole. I would be lying if I didn't say I was dreading it. What I experienced blew me away. It became one of my top 3 moments of the trip. I vividly remember standing swaying to the worship song they were singing, I knew it in English but just hummed along, tears streaming down my face. Not because of how poor these people were or because I felt sorry for them but because I felt the Lord in that place, it was a Holy feeling. Hearing songs you know and sing in English being done in another language does something to you, it shows you how small the world we live in everyday really is. That our God is bigger and spans so many languages, cultures, and countries. They don't care who can sing and who can't, it's not about being good at singing it's about praising Jesus and doing it BIG. They all wear their best clothes and again the siblings take care of each other and the moms rock babies to sleep on their laps and about half way through just like any church at home, the kids get anxious.

We were welcomed by the pastor that was filling in, he spoke English and invited a member of our group up to pray over the whole congregation as he translated, what a powerful experience. They had each of us introduce ourselves by name so they could welcome us, we held their babies and their toddlers hands. 

It is a moment I want to replay in my head over and over again, what a surprise to find that one of the moments I was dreading because selfishly I was afraid I would be bored or uncomfortable, became one of the defining moments on this trip. 

English Class

We had the opportunity to teach two English classes while we were in Haiti. We taught them at Respire but it wasn't just the students of Respire it was the older population of the community, spanning from late teens to probably 30 or so. I had no idea what to expect when I heard we would be teaching the beginner class.

One of the school buildings where we taught our class

I am not a teacher, I never even wanted to be a teacher at any point in my life when I would dream about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I don't have the patience or the creativity for it. BUT this was something we just jumped into with both feet.

 We worked on body parts that first class and then on colors and time the second class. It was so fun to watch them get so excited over pronouncing something correctly or watching it finally click. I have never seen grown people cram themselves into the front row of a classroom so anxious to learn. They wanted to be at the front of the class. They wanted to learn and they wanted to practice with us.

Towards the end of that first class a young woman came up and said she had a song to share with everyone. She wrote it on the board, in English. I then read through it for the class to hear it in English and make sure they knew all the words. The song was called "Lay it Down" the young women who then sang the song in the front of the class blew my mind. They were so beautiful, so confident, so full of joy...we explained it later as experiencing a bit of heaven. A place where color of skin doesn't matter, your material possessions don't matter, where you live doesn't matter, if you have an education or the struggles you may be experiencing NONE of it mattered. It was the blending of voices and hands reached to the sky in worship together.

Our team hugged or shook every hand in that classroom that night. We spoke words of encouragement and God's truth to those beautiful women, that they were beautiful and so talented, that they blessed us with their music that night. We thanked them for letting us be part of their classroom. I don't know who was more excited that night, our team or the people in our class. We all left that night with smiles plastered on our face with a sense of renewed purpose and meaning for our trip. To them English means a chance at a job or a new life. To be a part of that means more than I think I knew at that time. To them it's a ticket to something more.

Our English Class

I never want to forget that night, that feeling, those voices and smiling faces. 

Feeding Program

I would say one of the most eye opening experiences of the whole trip was the feeding program we helped with on Saturday evening. It was the first real experience we had with the kids in the community as we had just arrived the day before and during the day Saturday we attended a soccer game where mostly they all just stared at the white people and we didn't get to interact much.

We watched as close to 100 kids filed into the gates of Respire school and onto the soccer field to wait for a meal. This was our first time being exposed to how badly these kids just want affection, how much they just want us to hold their hand, pick them up, or sit on the ground while they pile into our laps. We played for a while, then shared the story of Joseph through a skit with translators. They clapped and sang all while their little tummy's rumbled from hunger. They were never impolite or pushy, they just simply waited for meal time. Then they waited in line for their hands to be sanitized. We started with the smallest and ended with the oldest. We carried plates of the rice mixture to sit with the babies of the group and help them eat. They cleared their plates. I watched in awe as they shoveled in every last bite, it didn't matter if it touched the ground first. I can't get Lydia to finish her dinner and here these kids wiped their plates clean.

The siblings took care of each other, the oldest often times helping their younger siblings to eat then packing their dinner away to take with them, not taking one bite for themselves. The selflessness of this act hit my heart so hard. I pictured Lydia walking up that mountain carrying Garrett or holding his hand. Most them walked from close by but there were a few they said that come from outside of the city to eat on Saturdays.

We never let the kids see us cry but on the way down the mountain a team member and I let it all sink in, let the reality of the situation hit us. It was hard to witness but so good to know they receive this meal every week. It's so good to know they are hearing the gospel and eating among believers who are helping them put on their shoes to walk back down the mountain and who are helping them eat so they can sleep without hungry tummy's.

It was my first experience witnessing true hunger and it's a day I won't forget, I pray I don't forget the look on their faces, the clean plates, the hands that grabbed mine...those are what will keep me in action and keep me accountable to keep traveling to meet them where they are, to raise funds and to keep telling their story! Hopefully, spurring others to do the same.

Haiti

I arrived back in the states late Friday night and have been enjoying my husband and kids over the last couple days. I returned to work this morning and through it all have been trying to process all that took place over my 8 days in Haiti.

It was eye opening, heart wrenching, inspiring, hopeful, discouraging and overwhelming. It threw me to my knees and on my face to a God who loves these people and knows the corrupt government they live in, the extreme poverty and lonely children. He knows them and loves them, he never promised there wouldn't be poor among us he asks us to love them and to visit them to share who he is with them. That's what we did, did we ever love on some kids and we had moments of worship and sharing the gospel with them.

8 days is such a short time to feel like you made a difference but it's long enough to witness the need and it's long enough to fall in love.

I was trying to decide how to best lay this out for all of you who prayed us through this trip. This week I am going to focus on my top 3 moments on this trip, to the moments that made a bee line to my heart and wrecked it for this country and it's people.

Stay tuned...it's a task to process it all in the midst of life and excess, with holidays coming and trying to decide what to do with this new responsibility. 

"Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows what we know and holds us responsible to act." Proverbs 24:12

Do I have Any Prayer Warriors out There??

So I could use a few or a whole heck of a lot of prayer warriors over the next week.  I leave for Haiti on Friday morning at 6:45 am with my sister, we arrive in Miami then meet our team a team that I have never met but spoken with on 5 weeks worth of phone calls and emails. We will travel together from Miami to Haiti. I hear the airport in Haiti is a tad scary especially for a group of 15 white people. We will then travel to Gressier where we stay with the staff and people of Respire Ministry's for the whole week.

If you would find it in your heart to pray for me, my family and my team I would forever be grateful and thankful for you. When I pray I like to make a list, I like to write it down where I know I have spoken the words in my heart and although God hears our unspoken words, the words we don't even know we are searching for it just helps me to process it all and a way for me to be intentional with prayer so here are my prayer requests for this trip:

 - Safety in our travels, flying isn't super scary to me but as a mom it's become more so, when I fly and leave my little ones on the ground below it becomes a bit scarier. I've also heard crazy things about the roads in Haiti, like monster potholes etc.

- Health, for me and my team so we can be the best we can be and the most helpful we can be on this trip to the people of Respire, also for the health of my husband and kids at home, what a downer for Matt to have sick kids or be sick himself as a single parent for a week.

- For the children and staff at Respire, that we will be helpful and provide them with some extra hands to get things done for the week, to bring some smiles/hugs/laughter to the children who might need it, that they will feel the love of our Savior who knows every hair on their head and every dream in their heart.

- For my teams hearts and minds as we try and process all that we see, the sights, the smells, the good the bad ... all of it, we will feel a lot of emotions over the week and those are hard to process during and after the trip.

- For my husband and babies, that they know how much I love them and how much I will miss them, that the kids not give matt too much trouble and that the week goes smooth here.


Thank you for praying for me, my team and my family. The enemy doesn't want me on this trip, he doesn't want a group of 15 heading in the name of Jesus to another country where we will spread HIS love...there are bound to be hiccups and the only way to deal with that is on our knees. So thank you from the bottom of my heart, look for posts and pictures when I return.