What a Weekend!

This weekend was so much fun and full of old friends. I love it when old friends get together and you can finally catch up on life because lets face it, you mean to call all the time but never get around to it because well I'm a mom now and the minute Lydia is down and the house is semi straightened up I'm in a coma like state in my bed watching tv or falling fast asleep by 9 p.m.

So Friday night, my good friends from high school were in town (Britt lives in Lexington and Kristen lives in Kansas) so it was so fun for us all to get together again and go out for a fun night. It was great for Matt and I too as we dropped Lydia off with my mom and dad and she had a slumber party with them.

yes we all wore a different shade of the same color (not on purpose)



Kristen and I (yes she had her crutch with her at the bar)



Saturday, Matt and I spent the majority of the day in the car dealership, yes like 5 hours spent at the car dealership but it was worth it because I was able to finally get out of my fun sporty convertible (not good for a baby) and into a mommy vehicle that can now comfortably fit baby Lydia without breaking my back and we can also put the furry members of our family in the back!! YAY :)

Sunday, we traveled up to the northern part of the state to South Bend for my college roomie's bridal shower. Lydia was a trooper! She is in that stranger anxiety stage where she gets scared at first of new places or people but then she warmed up and was a cute ball of fun. CONGRATS AMBER!! We have the bachelorette party next month and then the wedding on December 4th, can't wait for the big day!!



I won a starbucks gift card for traveling the farthest and Lydia thought it was a chew toy



So now I'm exhausted.... but have no time to be exhausted as I have a super busy event week again at work! No rest for this mamma, have a great Monday!!

What would you do if you weren't afraid?

This was the topic for the hour on KLove while I was driving to work after my Doctor's appointment. I really started thinking...What would I do if I just let God be the ruler of my life and the navigator of my everyday, instead of trying to live in my little comfortable bubble on my own terms.

So maybe think about that today as you go about your day... What would you do if you weren't afraid

Would you quit that job that leaves you feeling empty for one that is full of purpose?

Would you finish that paperwork to adopt a child?

Would you up your donations to your church or charity knowing that God will provide if you stretch yourself?

Would you ask that friend of yours that isn't a believer to go to church with you ?

Would you reconcile a lost friendship or relationship with a family member?

Would you go back to school?

Would you travel?

Would you pick up the phone and call someone?

WOW just think if we let God be the ruler of our lives and stop living on our own terms what he could do with us, how he could use us to make a positive impact in this world or to bring new joys and new memories into our life here on earth.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO???

I love me some weekends

I absolutely heart weekends at this point in my life!! Ok, so I might have always liked weekends but lets be honest in college it's pretty much one big weekend interrupted by a few important tests, quizzes, projects etc. However, once you are in the working world you live for your weekends. Then when your husband works at a golf course and he's never around on the weekends you live to jam pack them so you don't miss him or get lonely or have to be a single mother so you bring in reinforcements. BUT at this point in my life, I have 2 straight days with my baby and my husband on weekends now. Hubby works at a bank = best hours ever and weekends and holidays :)

So now I love weekends and this weekend I started it out with the Lady Antebellum concert as I mentioned before. They did not disappoint, they were amazing and I love going to a concert where they sound even better than they do when you are jamming to them in your car and you can sing just as loud because everyone else is. I got to go to my happy place, my old campus (I absolutely love that place) I got to take the same walk I took thousands of times from Elliot Hall back to my apartment, oh the memories. Plus, I got to go to dinner with my brother and sister before the concert and I love them with all my heart, so I have to buy the poor college kids a meal and a beer as a pick me up, what else is a working sister good for.

my best friends and brother and sister :)

Lady Antebellum Rockin Elliot Hall

Then we hung out with family celebrating a gazillion birthdays.... Shout out to, Robbie (miss you), my pug dog Ellie (she turned 6), Kylie, Amber, and Courtney!! We hit up a cross country meet, watched lots of football. GOOOOO Boilers and COLTS! Love when both my teams win. Ate lots of bad food, mexican, pizza, bw's all in one weekend :: waist line sighs out loud for me to hear::

Layed around in bed with hubby and baby girl, she loves to crawl (well attempt) all over us and slime us into big piles of baby slobber (daddy hates this) but I think it's hilarious and wear her drool with pride.

I love weekends and can't wait for the next!!!

A night spent with a few good friends

I am so excited because tonight, I get to spend the evening with these guys....

I have been waiting for them to headline a tour that comes my way, they came this summer with Tim McGraw but due to having a baby and a few complications that came my way I didn't make it and now they are coming to PURDUE!!

So my sister and I will spend a fun filled evening with Lady Antebellum and all their amazingness :) I will then feel what it is like to not be 21 or in college anymore and wake my butt up at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning and drag it to work... ahhhh but it will be worth it!

5 Months (it was really yesterday)

Lydia,

5 months... that is way to close to 6 months for my liking but I am not going to complain because you just seem to get more and more fun and more and more beautiful with every passing day.

You have had the opportunity to actually have both parents home a lot lately with daddy switching jobs and it has been so much fun to watch you turn into a little daddy's girl. (you still have eyes for your mama) but you give him the biggest smiles and you guys just make faces at each other all day.

You are such a funny little giggly girl now, yes you finally giggled and it was music to my ears! You weren't quite sure at first what this odd noise coming from you was but it is so darn cute, you usually do it most when I'm blowing raspberry's on your belly, eating your feet, or kissing your neck. You even did it last night in your bath when I was washing out that crazy neck roll you got going on.

You just moved into 6 to 9 month pj's because you are such a big girl you are too long for those little 3 to 6 month footie pj's but that's ok your cute 3 to 6 month outfits should still last us a few weeks. You actually get really really excited when I take you to your closet to pick out what you are going to wear. You truly are all girl when it comes to that!

You tried your first foods, sweet potatoes is what you got to try first and you looooved them. You loved them so much that you would put your hands in your mouth and chomp around like you were trying to eat them. Then you would try and take the spoon from me, we still had sweet potatoes up your nose a day after.

By this post next month I have a feeling you will be sitting up all by yourself! You are oh sooo close right now. I think you might also be working on a tooth as you drool like crazy, you've been waking up wining sometimes in the middle of the night, and everything goes to your mouth! So we will see what next month brings.

BUT for now I am enjoying every moment of this journey together. There is nothing I love more in this world then being your mommy.

Love you Lydia bug,

Mommy :)

Catching Up With Lydia (Picture Post)

I realize I have not posted pictures in a loooong time so here is a little catching up with Lydia post just full of her cuteness for you to enjoy. This is what she has been up to for the last month.

I try to eat everything, including mommy's camera

I absolutely love my baby einstein jumper and have actually started jumping in it, I'm so strong

I actually like tummy time now... well sometimes

I'm becoming a Purdue fan, I've even made it to all 3 home games and mom says I did awesome!

And I get more and more beautiful everyday!!

Confession

So I have been debating on whether I should even mention this, I begin to write it and I delete it when I'm finished, just like I picked up the phone to call my Dr. and hung up about 4 times before I finally went through with it.

Postpartum depression or anxiety, I think through blogs such as Heir to Blair and my good friend Laura over at The Big cursive L we are starting to learn that there are many women who experience some form or another of PPD/Anxiety. Luckily for many of us that leaves us not feeling so alone, not so disfunctional, or not so much a failure as a mother because they were brave enough to speak out. Giving us a place to turn for confidence that we will be ok and confidence in telling our own story.

I did not get diagnosed with PPD from my Dr. but I did however express my problems with anxiety that I have been having lately. I did jump on her offer to put me on something to help even out my hormone levels so things aren't so overwhelming and I can live my life without jumping out of my skin.

It's natural to have the baby blues (I had loooots of them especially with all of my complications) but when those started to get better I thought I was in the clear, I no longer looked at a pregnant women and cringed, I smiled instead. I no longer thought of my infection, my unplanned csection, or my 24 hour labor but I thought of my beautiful baby instead. I finally was released from Home Health and thought I am supermom I can do this now.

Well for the past couple months after returning to work especially I have been overwhelmed with anxiety, I snap at my husband (oh my poor husband), I throw my dogs outside for hours at a time because I can't stand them, I try and clean my house furiously because I feel like it's so dirty and I can never catch up with it, I almost walk out of church because the kids in the back won't shut up and are screaming, I had to switch tables at a restaurant. I want to jump out of my skin, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, or cry because I am overwhelmed!!!

I was overwhelmed with trying to give the best me possible to Lydia after working all day, giving the best me possible to my husband after Lydia went to bed, trying to give the best me to my friends who don't understand what it is like to spend a night away from your daughter, or be the best daughter, sister, friend, wife, coworker, mom period.

OVERWHELMED which leads to major anxiety...

I am now taking something to try and help make all of this a little more tolerable. Do I have the diagnosis? No, but do I experience what a lot of moms are experiencing now and keeping bottled up inside only to make problems worse? Yes.

My Doctor told me that when she used to feel overhwhelmed after having her kids and trying to juggle everything she would make a list of all the Pro's in her life, the blessings, the good things to help her realize how all she needed to focus on was doing the best that she could, the people who matter would understand if she wasn't everything to everybody but did the best she could.

So here is part of my list:

A beautiful, healthy, baby girl

A husband who loves me and is supportive

A growing relationship with a merciful God

A family that lives close

A roof over my head

A job that gives me the means to support my family (even if I don't love it every day)

A Dr. that understood the tears of an overwhelmed mom who needed something to help her get through the day


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