Feeding Program

I would say one of the most eye opening experiences of the whole trip was the feeding program we helped with on Saturday evening. It was the first real experience we had with the kids in the community as we had just arrived the day before and during the day Saturday we attended a soccer game where mostly they all just stared at the white people and we didn't get to interact much.

We watched as close to 100 kids filed into the gates of Respire school and onto the soccer field to wait for a meal. This was our first time being exposed to how badly these kids just want affection, how much they just want us to hold their hand, pick them up, or sit on the ground while they pile into our laps. We played for a while, then shared the story of Joseph through a skit with translators. They clapped and sang all while their little tummy's rumbled from hunger. They were never impolite or pushy, they just simply waited for meal time. Then they waited in line for their hands to be sanitized. We started with the smallest and ended with the oldest. We carried plates of the rice mixture to sit with the babies of the group and help them eat. They cleared their plates. I watched in awe as they shoveled in every last bite, it didn't matter if it touched the ground first. I can't get Lydia to finish her dinner and here these kids wiped their plates clean.

The siblings took care of each other, the oldest often times helping their younger siblings to eat then packing their dinner away to take with them, not taking one bite for themselves. The selflessness of this act hit my heart so hard. I pictured Lydia walking up that mountain carrying Garrett or holding his hand. Most them walked from close by but there were a few they said that come from outside of the city to eat on Saturdays.

We never let the kids see us cry but on the way down the mountain a team member and I let it all sink in, let the reality of the situation hit us. It was hard to witness but so good to know they receive this meal every week. It's so good to know they are hearing the gospel and eating among believers who are helping them put on their shoes to walk back down the mountain and who are helping them eat so they can sleep without hungry tummy's.

It was my first experience witnessing true hunger and it's a day I won't forget, I pray I don't forget the look on their faces, the clean plates, the hands that grabbed mine...those are what will keep me in action and keep me accountable to keep traveling to meet them where they are, to raise funds and to keep telling their story! Hopefully, spurring others to do the same.

Haiti

I arrived back in the states late Friday night and have been enjoying my husband and kids over the last couple days. I returned to work this morning and through it all have been trying to process all that took place over my 8 days in Haiti.

It was eye opening, heart wrenching, inspiring, hopeful, discouraging and overwhelming. It threw me to my knees and on my face to a God who loves these people and knows the corrupt government they live in, the extreme poverty and lonely children. He knows them and loves them, he never promised there wouldn't be poor among us he asks us to love them and to visit them to share who he is with them. That's what we did, did we ever love on some kids and we had moments of worship and sharing the gospel with them.

8 days is such a short time to feel like you made a difference but it's long enough to witness the need and it's long enough to fall in love.

I was trying to decide how to best lay this out for all of you who prayed us through this trip. This week I am going to focus on my top 3 moments on this trip, to the moments that made a bee line to my heart and wrecked it for this country and it's people.

Stay tuned...it's a task to process it all in the midst of life and excess, with holidays coming and trying to decide what to do with this new responsibility. 

"Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows what we know and holds us responsible to act." Proverbs 24:12

Do I have Any Prayer Warriors out There??

So I could use a few or a whole heck of a lot of prayer warriors over the next week.  I leave for Haiti on Friday morning at 6:45 am with my sister, we arrive in Miami then meet our team a team that I have never met but spoken with on 5 weeks worth of phone calls and emails. We will travel together from Miami to Haiti. I hear the airport in Haiti is a tad scary especially for a group of 15 white people. We will then travel to Gressier where we stay with the staff and people of Respire Ministry's for the whole week.

If you would find it in your heart to pray for me, my family and my team I would forever be grateful and thankful for you. When I pray I like to make a list, I like to write it down where I know I have spoken the words in my heart and although God hears our unspoken words, the words we don't even know we are searching for it just helps me to process it all and a way for me to be intentional with prayer so here are my prayer requests for this trip:

 - Safety in our travels, flying isn't super scary to me but as a mom it's become more so, when I fly and leave my little ones on the ground below it becomes a bit scarier. I've also heard crazy things about the roads in Haiti, like monster potholes etc.

- Health, for me and my team so we can be the best we can be and the most helpful we can be on this trip to the people of Respire, also for the health of my husband and kids at home, what a downer for Matt to have sick kids or be sick himself as a single parent for a week.

- For the children and staff at Respire, that we will be helpful and provide them with some extra hands to get things done for the week, to bring some smiles/hugs/laughter to the children who might need it, that they will feel the love of our Savior who knows every hair on their head and every dream in their heart.

- For my teams hearts and minds as we try and process all that we see, the sights, the smells, the good the bad ... all of it, we will feel a lot of emotions over the week and those are hard to process during and after the trip.

- For my husband and babies, that they know how much I love them and how much I will miss them, that the kids not give matt too much trouble and that the week goes smooth here.


Thank you for praying for me, my team and my family. The enemy doesn't want me on this trip, he doesn't want a group of 15 heading in the name of Jesus to another country where we will spread HIS love...there are bound to be hiccups and the only way to deal with that is on our knees. So thank you from the bottom of my heart, look for posts and pictures when I return.

My Anthem for Haiti

My prayer for this trip has been that it will launch me into living a BRAVE life a life where I say YES to what he is calling me and my family to. This song is speaking to me at this point as I am counting down to ONE WEEK until I hop on a plane with my sister and go love on some kiddos and ministry leaders in Haiti. That I step out of the boundaries of this country and out of the boundaries of my comfort zone.

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders...."

Enjoy, maybe it will speak to your heart as it does mine.

A little about my trip to Haiti

So I thought it would be a good time to share a bit about my upcoming trip to Haiti with Visiting Orphans. Our team has started having weekly conference calls to prepare and we only have 2 more before we all meet in Miami to head to Haiti together.

First of all we will be heading to the city/town of Gressier, Haiti. Gressier is about 20 miles west of Port au Prince. We will be working alongside Respire Ministries. With their school year just starting up this October (this will be there 2nd official school year as a ministry) we aren't exactly sure of our jobs or what we will be doing when we get there. I do know we will be helping with their feeding program and I am excited to see how this all works and pans out.

They have a 6 room primary school, a 4 classroom Kindergarten, and a 4 classroom Secondary School. They have a feeding program every Saturday morning and discipleship program every Saturday afternoon. They recently opened the Freedom House for girls in severly abusive and dangerous situations. They have started an English Language Program, Soccer Discipleship program and recently broke ground for a medical clinic.

They have roughly 500 students enrolled in their school, 70-80% of these students are restaveks (children slaves). These restaveks are children usually between the ages of 4-15 who are sometimes sold between families, do all the chores, cleaning, washing, fetching water and unfortunately most often abused and do not go to school. Respire wishes to make relationships with the people of Gressier in order to educate them on the Restavek crisis. Through education, scripture and God's love, they hope to create awareness of equality for these children. Read more about  Restavek Awareness and Education HERE.

It is overwhelming to think of how we will even be able to make a bit of difference in only 1 week with these people but I know God has a plan for us as a team and for those we will meet and live with for a week at Respire.

Thank you in advance for your prayers for our team and for those at Respire who live everyday to serve these children, so they can learn of God's love for them and to serve those in the community who do not realize the importance of these children in their lives.

Thankful Heart

Today I come to you all with a Thankful Heart, singing a totally different tune then last week when my heart felt in shreds and my list felt iniliated.

First of all, Layla the pup is home and seperated from the rest of the family. We are thankful for our new home that has allowed us to set up a doggy condo of sorts for her in our partially finished basement. She has no contact with our other dog and only supervised contact with the kiddos. She is doing well and we pray this allows us the opportunity to have her in our lives and control the situation.

Also, immunizations CHECK prescriptions CHECK. Travel to do list is growing by the minute but it felt good to get those two biggies marked off this week!

Today I was filled with an overwhelming peace about the place we are at in our lives. The fact that I might have given up a pretty great job with higher pay to go to a job that I LOVE and spend part of my day at the pumpkin patch and orchard drinking apple cider slushies while Lydia talks about what colors she is going to paint her pumpkin. Singing along to some of our favorite songs on the way home to make lunch together.

I want to remember that a week ago it felt awful and impossible but God answers prayers he does not forget us and he heals those bruises in his time, sometimes that only takes a week or a couple days sometimes it can take longer but we just need to TRUST that he will, in his way and in his time.

 Some older photos from a few weeks ago but just love these kiddos so much!

If you do Good...Bad things will happen

I had heard from others who have traveled on missions that the Devil chooses to attack when you are moving towards your goal, traveling, trying to get all of your list checked off before you go etc. I learned first hand this week that this is a very real thing. The Devil does not want you to complete good works, he wants to derail you and watch you question everything you are working towards.

Yesterday I had planned to get my drivers license updated with my new address, finally, figured I needed to before I left the country. I was going to be waking Garrett up from his nap to do this before preschool pick up then I was going to go after pick up to my doctors with both kids in tow to get my immunizations because my Dr. told me I could call ahead of time and then just walk in if they had it on hand. 

I was nervous to do all this with kids in tow and messing with nap and lunch times. Little did I know when I got home from work that Layla and Ellie had been in a fight earlier that morning and when my Aunt said Ellie had been really quiet I thought that was strange she is not quiet by nature when she is baby gated away from the family. Sure enough when I checked on her she had quite a bad gash in the fatty part under her neck and then later that afternoon we saw her eyeball was swelling and bulging. 

I put her away, take Garrett to my BMV appointment calling the vet on the way...I'm sorry we can't take her in unless you can bring her right now...uh no I can't do that...que water works. They tell me I need to bring her in the morning. I arrive at the BMV not expecting to need a new picture had to get a new picture with no makeup on, my hair in a gross pony, crying eyes and a baby on my lap. 

Get done early from the BMV stop by my doctor's office. Oh I'm sorry we can't give you your immunization because you have not seen Dr. so and so since 2011.  (I have had a baby and take my kids to see her) so instead I have to make an appt with her for next week....why wasn't I told this when I called the day before or when I asked my dr. over a month ago. 

Go pick up my daughter from preschool, drop the kids off with my aunt so I can properly kick our dog out of our home and take her to the kennel where she now resides while we are making arrangements aka begging for her to find a new home. This being the dog we have had since a puppy, she is 5, lived with our pug all her life. This is the dog who laid in bed with me for 2 days when we lost our baby 2 years ago, she laid on the edge of all of our kids blankets and watched over them when they were newborns. She has had 6 foster brother and sister pups in and out of our house but for some reason cannot get along with Ellie anymore. We had to make a decision after many chances were given, we just can't risk that happening anymore with the children around. 

It's so hard and I feel like such a failure, I feel like I have let her down and that I am abandoning her. I have only stopped crying to put on a face for the kids so they don't know anything is wrong although Lydia knows that mommy is sad. 

The devil is at work in my life but I am trying hard to keep going, to call and make appointments for physicals so I can get my immunizations, working hard to find time in the midst of appointments, meds for the dog now and giving time to the kids to watch my videos and pray for my team. 

To be honest I want to give up I want to throw in the towel and say you win, I shouldn't leave this to go away for a week, I shouldn't leave my kids and my mess of a house and life to go dive head first into serving others when I can't take care of myself. BUT that is what the devil wants me to do that is what he hopes I will do. So I say NO to him and YES to God, yes to what he has called me to. To the people of Haiti where something big awaits me and my team. Where we can provide extra hands and maybe a sense of rest to the staff at Respire. 

This attack is real but so is my God and he is bigger and I will lean on him in this mess of a life and make it to Nov. 1 when I get on that plane with my sister and head to Haiti. 

Please pray for the hearts of others that will no doubt be under attack as I am. 

If we are doing Good things ... Bad things will happen.