How can you help

So you know people who are adopting, you don't know how to help them. It's not a physical limitation of growing a baby in your womb and wrangling your other kiddos -- so offering to run a vacuum or help with laundry or run to the grocery store doesn't seem as appropriate. Well let me tell you what I have found has touched my heart and made such a difference.


1) PRAY - write them a note, send them a text let them know you are thinking about them and that you are praying for them. Prayers are coveted knowing that someone is thinking of you means so much, it can be a lonely journey we need people loving us through it.

2) Financial contribution- I  know this can be a sticky topic and one that people don't know how to handle because are you helping buy a baby?!?! Well let me put that though to ease.. NO you are not helping to buy a baby. You are helping to pay the fees of the people that are doing the translating, the delivering or paperwork, the check and double checking of all paperwork, the people who do all the interviews and are licensed by our government and the other government entities involved to deem you fit to parent an orphan child. Sometimes these fee's can slam into you one after the other and you feel like you can't breath, other times you have a chance to save and stock pile for the next big check but either way a financial contribution whether to an online crowd sourcing or grant matching website in the families name or sticking a $20 in the mail with a note is enough to bring us mamas to our knees with gratitude.

3) Once they are home
       - Give them space but don't fall off the face of the earth. It is so overwhelming coming home (if international adoption) being jet lagged, loving on the kiddos you left behind who are now so confused because holy crap there is a new toddler to share my toys with who doesn't understand me and holy cow.
      - Text text text - let them know you are around the corner. Let them know you dropped a starbucks at their doorstep go get it before it gets cold.
      - FOOD - the witching hour is awful and the kids are going bananas and you feel like you are dying from jet lag and the though of making dinner makes you want to crawl into the fetal position and cry. Meals being delivered is such a blessing. Also, if the mom needs to unload some tears be prepared to hold a hand or give a hug and lend a shoulder (I mean I would have no idea what that is like....)

4) Don't assume they can get out of the house like normal because they brought home an older child and they aren't healing from birthing of a baby -- for most of us we will not be leaving our child for months or longer for any extended period of time and especially not bedtime or sensitive times like that, they need to know we are their mommy and daddy and not going anywhere. BUT still invite them, we appreciate being invited, even if we have to send a tearful response of no not this time.



Those are just a few things that come to mind. Love lots of Love and sooo much grace as we navigate this time with our child. Some days we are on top of the world and other days we are in the trenches of the war zone. Our community and our people will keep our head above water, let us know we aren't forgotten that we matter and what we do matters.