Fish

Lydia has become quite the little fish this summer, she started out having to hold our hands while swimming/being dragged around by us with her little swim jacket on. Then next thing we know she is off kicking and swimming by herself with her swim jacket on. Now she wants to jump off the diving board and off the side of the pool to me or her daddy.

Being way pregnant this summer I pretty much just float around the pool and she swims with her daddy while he throws her in the air, spins her in circles and helps her jump off the side.

Looking forward to many more fun filled summer weekends at Mamaw and Papaw's pool.

35 Weeks

35 Weeks...4 to go.

I would be lying if I said this part of pregnancy is easy because it's actually really really hard. The baby is sitting in my ribs so my right side hurts probably 90% of the day, I can't breath...it feels like I was holding my breath under water for a really long time and then took a gulp of air, my belly feels so tight sometimes I swear this baby is just going to kick right through it, I have heartburn like woah and I can't really sleep between the rib pain and constant peeing.

I feel like a pretty crappy mom these days too, thank goodness for Netflix for kids because Lydia gets to watch a lot more variety of tv this way. She has become a complete daddy's girl because well mom sucks and I sit on the couch or watch from my raft or step in the pool, no swinging her around or throwing her up in the air for me. I hope she realizes how much I miss doing that stuff with her. 

All that to say, I am thankful for this blessing and miracle of pregnancy. I'm hoping to make it the full 4 weeks to my scheduled c-section date and then kiss the face off this sweet little peanut that has me wishing for 2 a.m. feedings and pacing to whatever late night tv is on.

InstaFriday: Nursery Sneak Peeks Edition

Linking up to InstaFriday today again but this time with some sneak peeks at the nursery progress, it's almost done and I will reveal more once we get the rug that just got shipped!

Awesome and totally comfortable recliner, glider, rocker that my parents bought us for the nursery!

my attempt at modge podge, they look really cute up on the wall

Our dresser that we found on craigslist and my hubby refinished

curtain panel

crib and bedding

Nerves

For those of you who are new to my little corner of the web as in you were not reading when I had Lydia over 2 years ago now (holy moly) then you won't quite understand why I am getting nervous with 4 weeks to go until our little one arrives.

My delivery/recovery from having Lydia was not what anyone would consider ideal. It was actually pretty scary and messy.

Read more Here, Here and Here.

I love that our bodies somehow blur that out and make you think that you can do it all over again although now that we are only weeks out I am second guessing a bit why I thought I was ready to go through with this again.

I talked with my doctor over a year ago when we were thinking of trying again and asked how we could do this differently, how we could make this not as dramatic and awful as last time. She suggested scheduling and planning it with her. That way we are guaranteed to have her as my dr., I won't push for 2 hours subjecting my body to a higher risk of infection and we will have an OR that is ready for me. This should help the whole infection and no progress in the pushing department.

However, now I am undergoing routine blood work to watch my platelet levels because they are low and dropping. Ok big deal until I Google exactly what platelets do and truth is they are important little boogers. They will help keep me from bleeding after a C-section. Baby totally not at risk, such a relief everything is looking good and on schedule in that area. BUT now I'm nervous, like really nervous to do this all again. To plop my butt up on that operating table and let them operate while I'm awake waiting for the words "It's a …." Praying that my body does what it was made to do and that the platelets work their booties off to make sure I stop bleeding.

If you are the praying type, please pray that my levels stay right around where they are now, no dropping anymore so I don't have to see a specialist and I don't have to move up my delivery date. That it all just stays as planned, that my nerves that are skyrocketing through my body right now will be for nothing.

That a month from today on August 3rd I will be holding my baby in a hospital room with family surrounding us.

A Growing Heart

You hear a lot of moms who are about to have their 2nd child question whether or not they can love this new baby like they love their first baby. The baby who made them a mom and if you are like me totally shifted your Earth on its axis.


I get it, I totally understand it. For me though I am not worried. My heart already loves 4 children. F.O.U.R? Yes 4. Lydia my first born wild and crazy sweetheart of a toddler, our little one waiting for us in heaven (I know I did not get to meet you or hold you but I heard your heart beat you were a real life to me, a life I still mourn and miss but know you are loved sweet angel until I get to hold you and tell you myself), the little one that is growing, bumping and kicking me from inside and the child I know is waiting for us through adoption another child I have not met through an ultrasound screen or a photo yet but that God has prepared a place for in my heart.

Is it weird to love all of these children and all of these little lives at one time. To some maybe it is but to me it feels natural as breathing. I remember tears spilling over at the gym when I was working out every night preparing to try and get pregnant again. How could I be mourning and missing 2 children, knowing we wanted another biologically before we adopted and knowing that I had lost one already what if it happened again or praying that I would start my period so we can start trying for another right away. God was growing and stretching my heart then. Watching Lydia ask people to sit their baby carriers with sleeping babies inside right next to her so she could watch them, God was stretching and growing my heart then too.

I believe our hearts are capable of holding a lot more love then we give it credit for. I cannot wait to see just how big this heart can get. God knows its capacity and I pray he fills to the brim!!

First Family Vacation

We spent the last week in a cute Pink beach house at Lake Michigan. This was Lydia's first family vacation and it was such a great time. I was worried about sleeping because she is still in a crib at home and is really too big for a full night's sleep in a pack n play so she ended up sleeping with me of course :)

She loved the beach, the sand and the water. Of course, it helped it wasn't sea water, we hope this was a good introduction before the actual ocean.

Thankful for great parents who took us with them and let me put my feet up, relax and read as much as possible.

Highlights:
- New Buffalo
- The Stray Dog Restaurant
- Watching the sunset
- Getting my mom and brother to play games
- Watching Lady and the Tramp as a whole family
- Cooking out
- Watching Lydia knock over castles
- Lydia's phrase of the week: "No Talking"
- Lazy mornings and evenings
- Bed by 9:30 p.m.

30 Weeks....9 to go

30 weeks a long and feeling good. I still love being pregnant, although I'm getting slower, I have the pregnant waddle down by the end of a long day and my hips sometimes make it hard for me to get up off the floor once I'm there I am not complaining because I love this feeling of growing our little peanut right now. 

I love drumsticks (the ice cream kind), bagels and cream cheese, mexican, vanilla/cherry cokes, cheese fries, and fruit! 

I officially have a preggo bladder with the baby kicking me at random times making me feel like I'm going to pee my pants. 

9 weeks to go and this sweet little one will be in our arms, Lydia will be a big sister and we will become a family of 7 (if you count the furry ones)